God bless the United States of Israel

Last week produced yet another example of the lengths Israel's supporters in the US will go to follow Israeli rather than US interests.

The US Senate sought to legislate against any attempt by other nations to limit commercial relations with Israeli businesses operating out of the occupied Palestinian territories.

It also called for companies or organisations that support the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement to be blacklisted.

Since 2013, the EU has been toughening its stance on Israeli settlements. In particular, it has denied EU funding to companies and organisations in the occupied territories that produce goods for export. 

You may believe it is up to EU countries to decide for themselves where their funding goes, this is not the case.  The US seems to feel entitled to interfere in the affairs of any country adopting a critical stance to Israel, and so the EU is not going to be allowed to get away with it.

The name USA should be changed to USAI, the United States of America and Israel.

The US Senate's move last week follows on from the state department's imaginative redefinition of anti-Semitism to include vague terms such as "demonising" or "delegitimising" Israel (Not demonising Jews, note, but demonising the state of Israel. If demonising Israel is racism, why isn't demonising North Korea racism, too?).

I spot a trend here. With two such pieces of legislation mandating the US's support for Israel, surely it is time for the US to develop this approach in other even more imaginative directions.

It is clear US legislators are besotted with Israel and its government, and so there need be no limits to the support they give to Israel as it continues its anti-Palestinian vendetta. 

Here are suggestions for some new pro-Israel initiatives:

All Americans over 18 should serve for three years in the Israeli army. Obviously, Yeshiva students would be exempt, and also evangelical Christians who have been so supportive of Israel over the years.

The US should insist Israel is given a seat on the UN Security Council, and 30 seats in the UN General Assembly.

This would nip in the bud future anti-Israel Security Council resolutions, even if the US should change its mind and not use its veto.

It would also make it more difficult for the General Assembly to pass resolutions critical of Israel, and save Israel the embarrassment of having to ignore such motions, as Israel consistently does at the moment.

Other countries, who have only one vote might protest at such largesse, but the US will just threaten to withdraw aid and support as it has done in the past, to get them back in line.

It is time to ban the label "Palestinian Americans" as some diaspora Palestinians call themselves. This term will be made illegal and replaced by the label "Bedouin Americans".

This will have a dual effect. It will reinforce Israel's message that there are no such people as Palestinians, and emphasise that people who claim to be Palestinians are merely Bedouins who wandered into Israel to take advantage of the "blooming desert" and other Israeli benefits.

It will also imply a degree of tenuousness in the relationship between diaspora Palestinians and the US. Obviously the term "Bedouin Americans" will convey the impression that American Palestinians are naturally restless and somehow less rooted than "real" Americans.

The United States of America should be changed to "the United States of America and Israel". This would reinforce and make more official the idea that the US's main foreign policy stance should be the nurturing, funding, and humouring of Israel in whatever it chooses to do.

But of course, there could not be any official union betwen the two countries - Israel as the 51st state - because that would restrict Israel's ability to kick the US and its presidents in the teeth from time to time, as it likes to do.

Opinions expressed in this article remain those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of al-Araby al-Jadeed, its editorial board or staff.