Biblical disaster? There's an app for that: Scientist says Noah used cellphone on 'nuclear-powered ark'

Trying to reconcile Biblical miracles with the laws of physics, a Turkish scientist has claimed the only way Noah could have contacted his son remotely before The Flood was via mobile phone.

Speaking on Turkey's TRT channel on Saturday, Yavuz Ornek, a lecturer at the Marine Sciences Faculty of Istanbul University, was adamant that Noah had warned his son of the impending doom via mobile phone shortly before mountain-sized tsunamis engulfed the globe. 

The scientist did not, however, go into detail about how Bronze Age patriarchs could have gotten their hands on such technology and more importantly, how the signal did not drop during Biblical weather conditions.

"There were huge 300 to 400-metre-high waves and his [the Prophet Noah's] son was many kilometers away. The Quran says Noah spoke with his son. But how did they manage to communicate? Was it a miracle? It could be. But we believe he communicated with his son via cellphone," Ornek said, according to Hürriyet's translation.

The story of Noah's Ark is mentioned in the holy books of several world religions and similar global flood narratives exist in the legends of other cultures.

According to the story, enraged by humanity's "wickedness", God decides to drown the world in a global deluge, but spares Noah, his family, and a remnant of all the world's animals by instructing him to build and board a huge ship capable of containing them all. Ducks, fish and other aquatic wildlife were presumably spared God's wrath.

Some devout Jews, Christians and Muslims believe the narrative to reflect real history, but the evidence from science and archaeology is conflicting and suggests the legend is linked to a limited regional flood.

Fission chips

The physics of the Ark's construction and propulsion have also baffled scientists, as the wooden structure suggested in the written narratives could not possibly have stood the inclement weather during the Flood.

Ornek's solution? Advanced metalwork and onboard reactors, obviously. Noah must have built his famous Ark "from steel plates and used nuclear energy" to propel it, he told TRT-1.

"I am a scientist," he concluded. "I speak for science."

Follow us on Twitter: @The_NewArab