Since finding her son laying dead on the floor after being mauled by a combat dog unleashed by Israeli soldiers last week, Nabila Bahar, 70, has struggled to return to her home in Gaza’s Shujaiya neighbourhood.
Muhammad Bahar, 24, who had Down’s syndrome, held a special place in his mother’s heart, who described him as "innocent" and someone who only spoke a few words.
On 4 July, Israeli forces stormed the home they were sheltering in, located in eastern Gaza City, with dogs being set on Muhammed.
"The dog sank its fangs into his chest and then into his shoulder. I saw a fountain of blood coming out of him as he helplessly tried to push the dog away," Bahar told The New Arab.
She says her son was very affectionate, despite not speaking a lot, and that during the attack her other sons were beaten with rifles, ordered to leave the house or were detained.
After Israeli forces withdrew from the home around a week later, some the family returned to see Muhammed's body decomposed on the floor.
"Muhammed used to call everyone ‘dear’" Bahar said. "He even told the dog ‘dear, please stop!" when it was attacking him," she added, saying that the scene is something she won’t be able to forget.
When Muhammed was four, Bahar explained that she put him in a centre that cared for children with special needs, thinking it would help him develop further.
However, every day he would return upset, his body covered with bruises from other children.
"He was placed in a section for autistic children, I told them my child doesn’t suffer from autism, but they didn’t care. I started to notice his mental level was deteriorating and he was no longer speaking, apart from a few words, so I took him out of the centre and looked after him at home," she said.
Surrounded by his siblings at home, Muhammed was doted on, and enjoyed dancing, food and playing with others.
"He laughed for no reason and cried for no reason. This is how Muhammad was. He was innocent and loved life. If someone treated him kindly, he loved him and called him "dear," and if someone treated him harshly, he turned away from him angrily and didn’t speak to him at all," his older brother Mikael, 42, said.
Muhammed never went to school because of the trauma he experienced when he was at the centre, with his mother choosing instead to home school him instead.
Bahar is still reeling from the killing of her son, who she says she was not able to bury or give a proper funeral.
Even before the start of the war on Gaza on 7 October, the family had felt the impact of Israel’s assaults on Gaza.
Bahar’s husband was killed in 2002 by Israeli bullets in the Al-Mantar area, with Muhammed being only two years old at the time. She was forced to raise her nine children alone and was also forcibly displaced many times.
"Muhammed was everyone’s favourite. Everyone loved him and treated him with kindness. It was to the point to if he got sick, we would bring the doctor home so he wouldn’t have to go to the hospital," Mikael said.
While some of Muhammad’s siblings remain detained by Israeli forces, the others are grappling with his memory.
"Muhammad is the blessing of the house. He was always smiling and happy. I couldn’t say goodbye to him because I was displaced to the southern Gaza Strip…I was heartbroken when I learned what happened," Mikael added.